Ten Commandments of Care-giving


1.     I surrender to now living a ‘new normal’ that is anything but normal!

2.     I must surrender to the unknown and the unpredictable and be in the ‘now’.

3.   I must relinquish all expectations, as nothing will ever be the same.

4.   I must honor my new feelings – loss, sadness, fear, anger and guilt.

5.    I must have compassion for the one I care for and their new road of difficulty, pain, trauma,   dependency and loss.

6.    I must have compassion for myself as I navigate the new demands and responsibility I undertake.

7.      I must recognize the impact this new role can have – exhaustion, stress, anxiety, PTSD and grief.

8.    I must take care of, not only my loved one, but also ‘myself’ – physically, emotionally and spiritually so I can sustain strength and resilience.

9.     I must find appreciation and gratitude for moments of joy and pleasure, no matter how small.

10.    I must discover my new bliss and create a life of meaning, productivity and life-fulfilling activity.


Rabbi Eva Robbins from

“Alchemy of Darkness, Transformation of Spirit” 2019



Eva Robbins